I played this game on a larger platform and had mixed feelings. There were pluses and minuses to alternate between like and loathe. Thankfully, in the Gameboy Advance version of the game, it’s easy to decide how I feel about it. Terrible. Heart-wrenching and saddened, but mostly disappointed beyond belief. This falls into that rare category of games I declare “Should not have been made at all”. However, Destination Software & Visual Impact made it, and Ford Racing 3 is dismal.

The idea is this: get in your hot rod Ford muscle car (by default, it’s some vague “blue-thing”) and race against other unidentifiable cars and hope to win enough races to make you the Supreme Champion of whatever. The PR for the game boasts that you can select from “55 detailed Ford automobiles” and also claims to have “26 highly detailed tracks.” Both of those statements are, in my humble opinion — generous. The cars look terrible. The tracks look great — as long as you are not moving, which makes for a boring race! Once you engage in the race itself, your car is a pixilated mess and the scenery comes and goes at random. One moment you are heading towards a barricade, then it disappears…. only to reappear just in time for you to strike it. All along the courses, the scenes change, morph and vanish, which leads to a frustrating and confusing experience. Although some of the cars are detailed enough to tell what model it is supposed to be, most of them are vague, generic blocks with wheels. The aforementioned blue thing is a convertible — I do know that! Having played and reviewed this game for Xbox, I can’t describe how tremendously opposite they are. The XB version had it problems, but at least you could tell what kind of car you had!

One of the oddities that is familiar from the XB version — terrible physics. Though in the GBA version, they are far worse. In fact, laws of motion don’t even apply in this game at all. The cars can almost rotate on a zero axis, which would be handy in real life. If you collide with an obstacle, you actually just “slide” off of it. Or, better yet, you go right through it with only a (miserable) sound effect to tell you there was ever a problem. You can drive through other cars, which is strange. No need to bump or nudge them out of the way — just floor it and go through them. They will disappear (aside from the previously mentioned miserable sound effect) and you go on through. The various environments are no better. Ice and snow are worse (in the physics).

Visually, it looks bad. The main screens look nice with teasing images of real cars ... and then loading into a nice-looking race course. But, as soon as you begin the race, the diorama comes and goes like a weird dream. Motion and graphics do not mix in this one. The cars are terribly rendered. I did not view all 55 of the cars offered, but saw enough to know that they all looked like Generic-Mobile.

The sound was not a redeeming factor. In fact, it was worse than the video. When you hit something with your 1.5+ ton car, it makes the sound of someone crushing a soda can in their hand. The engine noise sounds like popcorn being blown around in an electric coffee grinder. There IS voice, however, which sounds good. Not good enough to excuse the other sounds, I’m afraid.

There’s no challenge to race in this game. It’s pretty easy to win most of the races, as the physics allow you to take shortcuts on water and other places that cars should not drive!! It’s a mediocre game designed to fire on all cylinders for a Ford fan. This worked pretty well in the larger platform versions, but doesn’t work here — at all. Not one factor redeems this game enough as a whole — to recommend it to the most rabid Ford fan. Not only does it fail to run with the Ponies, it won’t even get out of the gate.  

Gameplay: 3.0
There isn’t much to learn about playing it, so you’re up and driving in no time. Load the mode you want to try, and race-away! Then wonder why the heck you got the game in the first place. You will turn and swerve all over the place, none of which makes any sense. Race across the river as if it is the road … and other such odd stunts.  

Graphics: 3.5 
If you want to see closely detailed, brilliantly rendered cars in their racing glory — get a magazine. This thing is just going to insult a fan of authentic car racing. At least you can almost tell the difference between the F10 trucks and the Model T cars. That’s a plus, right??!!    

Sound: 5.0
This scores a little higher — only because the human voice is there and sounds good. The rest of the audio effects are dismal. They don’t sound anything like their real-life inspirations. The cars sound like cheap toys, and the crashing noises sound more like dry Autumn leaves rustling.   

Difficulty: Easy
Just steer and run through anything that gets in your way. After a very brief moment of disorientation, you are back in the lead and don’t suffer from the impact at all. I wish real driving was this simple.   

Concept: 3.0 
It’s a racing game like many others — only worse.    

Multiplayer: N/A 
You can play splitscreen one-on-one with a cable connected to your buddy’s GBA. However, I could not find anyone to play this with me.    

Overall: 3.5
I love Fords, so I jump on these Ford-themed games. I liked the Xbox version pretty well, though it suffered from the physics/reality curse. At least those cars looked good, and the music was nice. The GBA box led me to believe that I was going to experience something, in the palm of my hand, equal to the Xbox extravaganza from a couple of months ago. The two are as different as Fords and Chevys. This game stalls when it should cruise, and sputters when it should roar. There’s no horsepower to it at all.